34140113 – 2
Bang. Minute to midnight.
By that I refer to how close I was to a new day (and another missed blog) as opposed to a reference to the Linkin Park song…
34140113
So I guess the secret here is not to stress or think about it too much. Especially in its build up.
I’m learning to drive for those that didn’t know. I’ve had about 25 to 30 hrs and its just getting ok now. Up until recently I just spent all my time just thinking about what went wrong in previous lessons. What in gonna do different in my next lesson and this causes new things to then go wrong.
Work is another example, although its too early to tell currently I psyche myself out when thinking about what I need to be doing different and things just mess up. I’m taking the same approach now. Not panicing or worrying and there has been some improvements.
I guess I need to apply that to my dissertation. But at the same time not put it off either. Just tackle it a few hundred words at a time.but not dwell on it. I wrote 800 words all weekend, in not going to think that in behind where I want to be, but instead think its positive progress.
33130113 #Dissowoes
I set myself the task of writing 2,000 words over the weekend for my dissertation.
It’s seriously hard work.
Firstly, this is because I let myself down over Christmas. I promised myself I would do reading on my subjects, Social Media, Web 2.0 and Technological Determinism. I didn’t. I set myself, mentally different dates to start things – Boxing Day. Missed that. So new Years day. Missed that. When Emma comes back from her parents. Missed that. So when I finally go to do reading its too late according to my own schedule and I have to start writing.
Of course that part only occurs to me when I check my own timetable I devised and realise that I’m gonna miss that deadline too.
So I’m doing what I always do, reading and writing at the same time.
Part of me feels like I don’t even have a grip on my own argument, another part of me doesn’t even understand what I’m reading.
I’m seriously at a point now where I feel totally swamped and hopelessly lost.
32110113
Its funny l, there’s no excuse to be failing in this blog a day malarky. Especially as every device known has a WordPress app.
See, I’m walking to Uni now (a feat in itself) and I’m writing a blog post. There is no excuse.
So I apologise dear reader (all two of you)
31090113
Oh the irony. I complained about being lazy and what do you know. I didn’t post yesterday!
30070113
I’m so so very lazy. I’m actually getting nothing done. I am ashamed of myself. Srs.
29060113
I have nothing relevant to say. Although I played FIFA with an old school friend this evening. A squad full of strikers is not a good squad
28050113
How was your Saturday? Work. Minecraft.
27040112
Work tomorrow. And I need to read more journals. First dissertation chapter due soon. Just wanna get uni over with. Just feels like a chore #wheresmymotivation
26030112
SIR-
I haven’t slept yet, therefore its surely still the third. And therefore I would still doing a blog a day. Wouldn’t want to fail my daily blogging three days in. HASHTAGunthinkable
25020113
Need to blog earlier in the da y. Nothing interesting to say. Emmas home, you can tell because somehow one meals been cooked and there’s four days worth of washing up….
24010113 Operation a blog a day
One blog everyday for the next year. This is blog one, this is all I’ve had to say
23310111
I’m a lazy blogger. Let me apologise. Recently I can’t even use university as an excuse as i haven’t been since the middle of December because of Christmas and the ‘exam period’. All I did in that time was drink tea, play games and watch some TV. I’m boring really, but I will make it up to you.
Look, I’ve already started with a new look.
The first semester of University has been and gone. Was a good, interesting 12 weeks. Learnt some good stuff and, looking at the results I’ve had back so far, quite a successful stint. An average 68 for the work that’s getting handed in. Although the 90 I got in an exam throws that average out by a few marks, but everything’s been over 60 so far, so that’s all good.
Semester two is promising to be much harder from the five seconds I’ve spent looking over the handbooks, especially effective animation. I’m enjoying it all though and can’t wait for this Semester to get into full swing, get myself into a rhythm kind of thing.
In hindsight looking back over the first semester at what I liked, didn’t like etc. Now it’s over, I did enjoy creative processes, looking at some of the stuff out there in the world in a different light completely. We were asked to keep a blog for that which you guys can find here: http://lukaskhan.posterous.com . It was an incredibly hard unit, no holding back there, part of it just due to a general lack of creativity on my part and the lateness in which I left everything, the other side is what we had to accomplish. If you want to watch it, the video is here. It’s just over half hour long, but it’s all the assignments all rolled into one, let me apologise in advance for the bad lighting.
One of the most surprising things to come out semester one which wasn’t even an academic thing was being shown wefeelfine.org. Everytime someone blog’s with the phrase ‘i feel’ the website picks up on it and collects data. It’s incredible and I’ve found a few of my own blog posts on there which gave me a strange, warm, fuzzy feeling.
Work is good, it’s hard to find it anything other than good when I’m only doing 16hours a week, but I am enjoying the new challenge that working in EBilling brings with it. It’s shocking the computer skills of some of the people out there in the world. I know I take for granted what I’m able to do on a computer and I am also well aware that the companies website could more clear with some of the error messages that come up but you find yourself having to explain some of the basics to people.
Webchat is a good feature though and it’s nice to be able to help people without actually talking to them sometimes. Not that i don’t mind that social interaction with complete strangers who are generally really angry at the company and something we’ve done but to be able to sit there and sort them out by just typing is lovely, it is however a pain in the neck having to sort hours out whenever I get a new timetable, like this semester. My next big worry as I technically don’t have to worry about hours until the second year, is whether I’m going to have exams that clash with what I am working. Oh well, if something has to give, it will be work.
Christmas was fun but I missed Emma as she went home to her parents, I didn’t go because it meant she got to spend more time there without me then she would have if i went. I took advantage though and got on with some of the games I got for Christmas. CoD: Black Ops, Star Wars Force Unleashed 2, WRC and Alan Wake. Finished Black Ops in about 8 hours, maybe less time. Wasn’t blown away by it. Always feels like the Call of Duty games are just cashing in on their name and that the developers aren’t trying to bring anything new. Force Unleashed as well was very short there’s clearly going to be another game.
I might start writing some of these thoughts on games on the [SR] Blog again, I was enjoying what we were doing with that so seems worth it especially as I have things to say.
I have been impressed of late though and highly recommending games like Alan Wake and Dead Space the new latter of which has just had it’s sequel released and it’s quite immense. What impresses me is the level of story telling, the way it’s done. I’ve got issues with some of the conventions used in the games but the narrative is fantastic and I really am constantly blown away by them.
This personal blogging malarky seems to be harder now that i’m actually doing things and have stuff more relevant to say! But do I voice it here on my personal blog or do i neglect this one more to get some of it out on the appropriate forum that myself and Tommy G have set up? Difficult, difficult.
Randomly, Say Anything has a new album out. It’s very good, it’s more like “… is a real boy rather then In Defense of the Genre which to me is good. Admitted I didn’t spend much time with the two disc behemoth of In defense of, and I will revisit it, but it didn’t strike me straight way.
I am still going through a male singer/songwriter phase. After being at SSE for 18 months and having Jack Johnson as the hold music for all that time I still don’t dislike him and I still enjoy listening to artists that are like him – Donovan Frankenrieter, Matt Costa, ALO. I’m probably going to spend some time finding artists through Last.FM under the ‘similar to’ banner. See who i can discover!
I’m still going through my phase of reading 20th Century authors who I never read at school and feel like i should. Jack Keroauc On the Road was a proper mountain to climb and thinking about it I am still not really sure what happened in it. I’m glad I conquered it though. I also finished 1984 and Animal Farm both of which were very good. Felt disappointed by Animal Farm was expecting a different ending I guess but was still a good read.
I’m on a Hiatus at the moment while I read what’s *technically* the new Jack Ryan book by Tom Clancy. I say technically because it’s Jack Jnr rather then Snr but it’s good at the moment. I don’t think Clancy wrote it though, I think he let Grant Blackwood write it as it doesn’t read like a Clancy… or what I remember them being like it is enjoyable though, getting into the habit of reading every night rather then watching TV.
Next in my reading list is Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep (Philip K Dick) and Naked Lunch (Bill Borroughs)
I’ve decided after last years Foray to get into Rallying – following Ken Blocks participation and my subsequent obsession with DC Shoes. I’m going to keep up with the WRC again – despite it coming off Dave and moving onto ESPN which I don’t have. I’m going to keep an eye on Travis Pastrana in the Nationwide Nascar series. It’s always interesting to see someone from one discipline move into another and see how they cope. Raikkonen did pretty well last year moving from F1 to WRC. I’d love to see someone go the other way, from WRC into F1 – but if 7 time world champion Seb Loeb can’t get a FIA Super license. I doubt we’ll ever see it.
Well I’m going to wrap this up now, if you’ve made it to the bottom congratulations and I will be posting more. I promise. Here and on the [SR] blog. Time to see if there’s any updates on all the F1 pages with all the car launches going on at the moment then off to Media History in Park building. Peace out people.
— — — — — —
Facebook | WordPress | Twitter | Last.fm | Raptr
22011110
Well, its been 6 months since my last blog update. I apologise for that.
So what have my dedicated readers missed over the last six months of my life? To be honest, not a huge amount.
I’m now playing Halo: Reach, F1 2010 and Bioshock 2. Rather then Halo 3 and Dirt2. Oh how times have moved on…
… Well they have a bit. I’m now at Portsmouth Uni studying Media Studies and Entertainment technology. When I last wrote here I was probably applying for student finance, now I’m finally updating I am currently waiting for student finance to give me the money they said I could have.
Oh SFE is a beautiful story. To begin with there was an issue with my schedule which they fixed. Then there was a processing issue but it was worth speaking to my university. The university said Student Finance hadn’t sent them a file. Student finance advised that there was a processing issue. Apparently now however the issue is actually technically caused by myself and the open university and a conflict being caused on their system. I won’t go into specifics, but the important issue is I’m now on Week 6 of University and I’m still waiting for my finance.
Speaking of University I’m not sure how I’m feeling, not in a bad way I suppose. I’ve met some incredible people like the Softball Team. I’ve been nicknamed ‘Ditto’ by the president – Todler – due to me replying to him and one of the other guys with the exact same text message – in my defence, they both sent me the ‘same’ message.
Softball is pretty much my entire social aspect of University life which is fine by me, they are all awesome, welcoming people and its always a pleasure hanging out with them. I hadn’t played Softball since leaving senior school and that’s 9 years ago. However I may as well have never played it there as I am a total beginner. But that doesn’t matter.
It is incredibly hard to meet people though outside of these ‘social’ things. The lectures are too big to really forge any close personal relationships with anyone and you rarely see the same faces in Semiars. Although I’m getting there with some people slowly.
There’s a huge amount of work to do though, more than I’m definitely used to. Well, pause there. Is it more than I am used to or is it that it’s been so long since i’ve had to do any thing like this that I am just out of practice?
I’ve got two write an essay on a subject of my own choice for Introduction to Media Research. I’m hoping to discuss whether Freedom of Speech and Protection of Privacy can actually co-exist in the press using Max Mosley as an example.
I’m having to do a semiotic analysis of a picture for Theorising Mass Media, I’ve found a brilliant Tom Ford picture so that’s on the up.
For Creative Processes I’ve got three mountains to climb i have to do a Interpretive Self Portrait, I have to create a picture that produces a message using processes I’ve not attempted before and i then have to create a thirty minute film detailing all the creative processes that have gone into generating the work. You can view my ideas and inspiration here : http://lukaskhan.posterous.com
There’s other stuff as well, but I don’t want to bore you with all that.
Well that’s the last six weeks in a nutshell. Because of this I have had to reduce my work hours down to sixteen hours a week. Which is actually making me feel happier as a person as that place breeds a hatred of people into you. Not intentionally, I feel it’s just that it feels like you speak to some of the idiots of the country. Although I’m in a ‘slightly’ different role now so hopefully things will improve. A little bit.
I am though in a new team and I really am unsure how to feel about being in a new team. I’m not sure how well received I am by the percentage. I know I get on well with a few people but I know that if I was working full time I definitely would have asked to go back to my old team.
Well I am all blogged out for the time being… I have a lecture I have to attend. A Film screening of an unknown film that i have to write a review about in the style of The Guardian and Total Film… Fun times.
— — — — — —
Facebook | Blogger | LiveJournal | WordPress | Twitter | Last.fm
17290410
Work…
… is difficult to talk about. In one respect I do like the job. I like the team I’m in. I like that is ‘casual’. It is targetted quite heavily and unfortunately I’m not doing so well as they’re concerned but me and my manager are trying new things to try and improve that. But at the same time the job is draining, its the time it takes to get to work, which when your doing it, it doesn’t feel like your covering that distance or its not taking very long. But when you then think about it. It’s adding so much time to my day.
The job itself is draining, I question how many more times someone can ask me to do something mundane before I top myself, but in consideration how would I cope in another department where what they do is even less tasking and varied. I dunno.
As I said to my boss lady today, I wouldn’t be bothering turning up if I really disliked it. The thing that’s draining the most is how I feel like I’m struggling so much. I really, really hate it.
Social…
…networking is playing a good part in rebuilding some old school, broken friendships. Leon is one example, he was a really good friend for a few years at school and then he moved away. Finally managed to find him on Facebook and I’m glad to be speaking to him again, he’s changed a lot, of course, but he’s still the same kid under the age.
I think part of the surprise of re-adding people I’ve known from school and college to facebook is how much they’ve all changed. I personally don’t feel I’ve changed much, although most of that comes down to the fact I haven’t achieved much. There’s friends who are married, who are parents, who are teachers, who have decent degrees. Who are going on exotic holidays and I’m lagging behind and that saddens me. I’d feel well shitty at a school reunion. And I’d certainly never want a younger me to meet me. I don’t think he’d be impressed with what I’ve become. Apart from Emma. He’d be impressed with her.
Games…
… i actually feel like I’m being shafted by the man this September. Halo: Reach, which I’m really excited about to the point where I almost cried watching the Extended trailer. That game is going to be epic, they’ve improved the graphics, changed up the multiplayer, changing the single player dynamic. Just can not wait ’til the beta. I’m going to bring it.
But why am I being shafted, on the exact same game, a game I’ve been waiting what… six years for… the newest F1 game. Reason’s to be excited that isn’t F1 related. It’s done by Codemaster’s have made the mighty Racedriver: GRID and DiRT2, which are so, so, so much fun to play and strangely addictive. I’ve got my hopes for it, but I worry that due to licensing it’s going to be rather limited. But who knows. It should be very impressive though.
Music…
…One of the highlights of the cycle to work is clearly the music choice. Its a highlight of the day. There’s so many artists I have on my iPod but I hardly listen to any of them on my way in. Surprisingly, it probably is one of the hardest choices I have to make in the day. It sounds silly I know. But it’s a case of, do I want to listen to a band or singer/songwriter. Do i want studio or live? One album or a mixture of all material? Shall I mix and match artists? Will what I’m listening too get me to work? Invariably these decisions have to be made on the three/four minute ferry trip. I am however and this is probably weather related, listening to a lot of folkie sounding stuff. Chilled lyrics and good guitars. Perhaps it’s helping me feel more relaxed.
Which to me is quite surprising, I’m not feeling particularly stressed about anything. Perhaps a bit down about performance but I’m also excited about university.
I feel loser-ish sometimes because of where I am and I worry I’m not going to progress more. I know I have to put a lot of work in to get there which is what I am definitely going to do. But I have these moments of self doubt where I question myself, have I made the right decision etc. I think this comes from hindsight and what I deem to have been bad decisions in past. It’s annoying because they weren’t bad decisions now and it’s only with what I know now these decisions would ever be different.
I won’t let this stuff stress me out though because it’s only going to make whatever I’m trying to achieve that much harder. It’s kind of my philosophy to try and not get stressed. I think that’s why I get really angry when stressed, because I let someone stress me to that point and I hate it. I like being casual and relaxed, helps me think more clearly.
— — — — — —
Facebook | Blogger | LiveJournal | WordPress | Twitter | Last.fm
16280410
So I thought I’d set about and do another list Blog of things that I love and enjoy and I was contemplating what to do. I eventually settled on sharing with you five albums, my desert island discs, the music I couldn’t be without. Albums that the first time I ever listened to I was blown away by.
Gold (2001)
I’m starting off with Gold by Ryan Adams. This album from start to finish is magical. It feels amazingly complete. Every single song is of such mind blowing quality.
I remember getting this album… well, I actually picked up about four Ryan Adams albums all in the same day. And every one I’ve listened too is breath taking. Adams has this fantastic skill that whatever genre he wants to touch, he owns.
From the heavier ‘Rock ‘n Roll‘ to the more country ‘Heartbreaker‘. Gold sits somewhere in the middle. For me, out of all the material Adam’s has released, either solo or as part of The Cardinals, Gold sounds the most mainstream, the most rounded. It’s also the best example of a singer/songwriter I have ever heard.
Tracks to look out for – ‘New York, New York’, ‘Nobody Girl’ and ‘The Rescue Blues’
...Is a Real Boy (2004)
My love affair with Say Anything actually started at a Dashboard Confessional show. They were preferring Remember to Breathe and the actual song had finished, and they carried on playing, as bands do live and they suddenly started singing more lyrics. The only ones I remembered at the time were ‘I can’t get laid in this town, without these pointy fu**ing shoes‘. When I got home went straight onto a Dashboard community on LJ and sort some answers for this new version of the song. One of the members sent me ‘Woe‘ and I was hooked. Before I knew it I had all their tracks.
I fell head over hells for this band. Literally, I had ‘Alive with the Glory of Love‘ tattoo and even went to see Brand New just because Say Anything were supporting. (I walked out when Brand New came on). I must have listened to the album 100 times in a week before going to see them. It was all I played too and from college. I still haven’t come across and album that has ever had such a huge impact on me from day one. Never.
Tracks to look out for – ‘Woe’, ‘Alive with the Glory of Love’ and ‘I want to know your plans’
Vulture Street (2003)
Trying to pick which Powderfinger album I’d take with me onto a desert island is like asking me what I would rather live without. My arms or my legs. It was a very, very tough choice. To be honest, and I know this might upset my buddy Nathan but I haven’t spent any time on their music before ‘Odyssey Number Five‘.
Everything they released after that, to me, just got better and better. That is to say, I believe their releases after this album, were probably better albums. However, this is the one I rant and rave about. I feel in love with how this album sounds. It’s got a classic raw rock sound to it from start to finish. I challenge you not to love this album. I really do.
Tracks to look out for – ‘On My Mind’, ‘Love Your Way’, ‘Sunsets’
Healthy in Paranoid Times (2005)
Like I have said for pretty much all the albums listed above this one. My breath was taken away from the very first listen of Our Lady Peace’s‘Angels / Losing / Sleep‘. And Healthy in Paranoid Times still leaves me blown away every time I listen to it.
So much back story spins around this album, that it took so many years to record, that the band “split up” a few times while recording it. And the inlay lists actual figures about how much was spent on porn, how many kids were prescribed anti depressants etc during the time it took to record the album.
The album really really does speak for itself and to me shows what a band at the top of their game can produce. You listen back through the back catalogue and there are so many stand out, mind blowing OLP tracks you’d think it would be hard to top what they’ve already achieved and this album proved you can. And to be honest, they stepped it up again with their newest release ‘Burn Burn‘.
But for me, putting this album on, turning it up loud and singing every single word is a beautiful feeling, a start to finish listen of this album will not leave you wanting more at the end.
Tracks to look out for – ‘Angels / Losing / Sleep’, ‘Where Are You?’, ‘Boy’
More Than You Think You Are (2002)
This last album has me conflicted. I can go through my entire CD collection and fight with myself over what I should put in as my fifth CD. And Matchbox Twenty‘s More Than You Think You Are won out. It actually beat other huge personal favourite bands like Muse, Jump!, Foo Fighters and Goo Goo Dolls.
I think the reason why, on consideration Matchbox Twenty have made it onto this Top 5 is its one of the most enjoyable listens I’ve ever had. I remember borrowing it off my buddy Tim and struggling to get past ‘Disease‘ because it’s such a mind blowing catchy song. And when I finally got past the song the album opens up and every single song knocks you for six.
‘Bright Lights‘ is a Microcosm for the entire record and how it makes you feel, the slow piano start building up to a big, polished, band sound which I really feel no one else out there can do as well as Matchbox can.
Tracks to look out for – ‘Disease’, ‘Bright Lights’ and ‘So Sad, So Lonely’
I think every album on this list share the same traits, all of them, straight out of the box they are all been awesome. None of them have require multiple listens before you get to the conclusion that they’re great. The album goes straight on and your hooked from the first track right through until the last.
Don’t believe me. Have a listen for yourself. I promise you, you will not be left disappointed.
— — — — — —
Facebook | Blogger | LiveJournal | WordPress | Twitter | Last.fm
Luke 'LukasKhan' Harrison 